Your Hair is Everywhere Screaming Infidelities
by swimchic2
Summary: In Lindsay's point of view, starting from the phone call at the end of season 4. decided to make this 3 parts. [COMPLETE] last chapter is rory's thoughts.
1. Default Chapter

Screaming Infidelities

Disclaimer: Not mine. The title is from Dashboard Confessional.

Summary: A short one-parter in Lindsay's point of view… starting from the phone call at the end of season 4.

A/N: My inspiration was the song. Special thanks to Ari for let me bounce ideas off her and for beta-ing. She rocks! And to DA for letting me bounce idea's off her too.

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I'm missing your laugh  
How did it break?  
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?  
I hope you're as happy as you're pretending.

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She would sit on the couch watching TV. He wasn't home; he wasn't ever home.

He'd make up excuses… he'd have to work late, or he'd be hanging out with the boys. It depended on his mood, and which lie he'd prefer to hear himself say, which one sounded more realistic.

She tried to believe him, to hang onto the fact that he loved her and would be with her forever, like he had said in their vows. But when it came down to it, she could see the look in his eyes. It was all a lie. Their life was a lie. It was almost as though they were role-playing, with everything they said scripted; the only thing missing was the stage.

The phone rang and interrupted her thoughts.

"Hello?"

Silence.

"Hello?"

A deep breathe.

"Hello?"

And then the dial tone.

She frowns at the phone as she looks at the caller ID. It is not a local number -- she decides it must have been a cell number.

She brushes a strand of hair out of her face as she looks at the phone, perplexed.

She slowly gets up from the couch and looks around the room. She is searching for his cell phone. She spots it on the counter. It's just her luck that he forgot it.

As she walks quickly towards it, she crosses her fingers, like she did when she was young and hoped that grandma would save her the last cookie.

She flips through the address book for a few seconds and then finds it.

She finds the last piece to the puzzle; the one that she had hoped wouldn't fit.

He cheated on her. She now knows it for sure. She wonders how long it had been going on. She knows that she wasn't the best wife…but she tried. She tried to learn to cook, to clean, to do laundry. Those things couldn't be the reason, right?

The front door slams and she throws down the phone, sitting in the nearest chair.

"Hey babe, where have you been?"

"Out," He replies as he comes into view.

She looks at him, noticing that his hair is out of place and that his shirt is only halfway tucked in. "You missed dinner… I put it in the fridge."

"I already ate," he says without looking at her.

"Oh," she says, trying to remain calm.

"I'm going to bed."

She shuts her eyes, wishing herself luck, and reopens them quickly. "How's Rory?"

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That night seemed like it had just happened, although it had really been over a week ago.

She had thrown all of his crap into a bag and kicked him out of the house, that night. She didn't give a damn where he had gone…but it was probably to mommy and daddy's house.

She had sat on the couch all night and sobbed. Life wasn't fair, indeed. He had been her first love.

She had ignored all the signs of infidelity; let him walk all over her. She should have stopped it when she suspected; she had been afraid of getting her heart broken, but in the long run, it ended up being torn into pieces and stomped on.

The next morning she couldn't hold down food. She had thought that it was from all that had gone on…but after it had happened for 2 days straight, she decided that it must be the flu.

Now, after 7 days, she walks into the grocery store, wearing all of the make-up possible to cover up her puffy, crying eyes.

She scans the store quickly, checking to make sure that he isn't working.

He isn't. It was Sunday, his day off.

She walks directly to the Feminine Hygiene isle. She finds what she's looking for and returns to the check out stand, making sure to place some magazines on top.

She had chosen the perfect time to come. It is almost 10 o'clock. The town is asleep and the store is just about to close.

The check out boy is new, so she figured that it will eliminate the rumors.

He doesn't question anything and she is out of the store and home in record time.

Within minutes she is in her bathroom, waiting, waiting for the stick to change colors.

She sighs and looks at her watch. One minute.

One minute can change a life, or multiple lives, she thinks.

The second hand pushes its way to the 12.

She takes a deep breath before turning around and looking down at her future.

"Oh my god!" She gasps and almost falls to the floor, but catches the counter top just in time.

She grabs the stick and sits down, a look of shock glued to her face.

When was the last time…? she asks herself. "Two and a half weeks ago," she answers aloud.

She sits on the floor for what seems like hours, before finally reaching into her pocket and pulling out her cell phone. She dials her number with sweaty palms and shaky hands.

He picks up after the first ring. "Lindsay?"

"I…I…" She starts to sob.

"What is it?" he asks, annoyed.

"I'm pregnant."

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Your hair, it's everywhere.  
Screaming infidelities  
And taking its wear.

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	2. Chapter 2

Screaming Infidelities 

Disclaimer: Not mine. The title is from Dashboard Confessional

Summary: First part in Lindsay's point of view. Second part is… sorta like both. lol.

A/N: Well, I had thought that this was only going to be a one parter…but, I think it may end up being 3 parts. Thank you SamiJoe for beta-ing! You're awesome! And thanks to everyone from the Lit thread who read and reviewed the first chapter. :D

* * *

I'm cuddling close

To blankets and sheets

But you're not alone, and you're not discreet

Make sure I know who's taking you home.

* * *

He slowly walked in the direction of home. A grin spread across his face as he thought of what had just happened.

He had slept with Rory; the love of his life. He had finally won. Getting married had proved to be for the better after all. Although when he had gotten married, he hadn't had that in mind. But now that it was over between him and Lindsay, everything was different.

Their marriage was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. He had been angry and upset…and obviously not over Rory. He had forced himself to date Lindsay. He couldn't appear to be weak; not to Rory and not to Jess. It had been hard though, to be all lovey-dovey with Lindsay. He hadn't planned on actually marrying her. If he would have known that he would end up doing so, he might have picked a girl who could at least cook.

He laughed at the thought. He had hated to be home, to have to eat her food, make pointless small talk, and laugh at her jokes, pretend like he cared whether the kitchen was wallpapered with apples or oranges. He didn't care, not for her at least.

He wondered when he should tell her. Tomorrow ended up being his ultimate decision. He'd just tell her straight off the bat that it was over. No questions asked. She wouldn't have to know about Rory, although she might already suspect it. It didn't matter. All that mattered was the fact that Rory was his; finally his.

It was a bummer that Jess wasn't there for him to rub it in his face. That would have been so much fun; to taunt him with it, flaunt it, just like Jess had done to him.

He arrived home shortly, overjoyed that this might be his last night with her. Then he remembered the paperwork. He didn't have any of the divorce papers. So he'd have to wait a few weeks before moving out. He cursed under his breath as he approached the door.

He slammed it shut and walked quickly through the living room and into the kitchen where he spotted her sitting in a chair.

She'd told him about dinner and he had waved it off, saying that he was going to bed.

"How's Rory?"

His eyes widened and he heard as gasp escape from somewhere within. "I…don't know what you're talking about," he said, trying to recover.

"Dammit, Dean, quit lying to me."

"Why are you so upset?" he asked, and took a step towards her.

She picked his cell phone up off the counter and threw it at him, missing his head by only a few inches, and it crashed into the floor.

He stepped backwards. "I…" He didn't know what to say.

"How long has it been going on?"

He swallowed. "Not very…"

She was obviously not pleased with the answer. "Please tell me that the whole thing wasn't fake."

He frowned. "What?"

"Our marriage. Please tell me that the whole thing wasn't a lie from the start."

He shook his head.

She turned around and quickly ran up the stairs to their bedroom, with him tailing closely. She made her way to their closet, where she proceeded to pull out their biggest suitcase and throw all of his clothes into it haphazardly.

She zipped it up and tossed it to him.

It fell to the floor in front of his feet and he glared at her.

"Get out of my house," she said evenly.

"Lindsay…"

"Get out of my house!" She repeated, now yelling.

"Calm down," he said before he bent over to pick it up. "I'm going."

She waited until she heard the front door close before she came down the stairs and locked it behind him.

He got into his car and drove to his parent's house. Once he got there, he used his key to unlock the door and quietly made his way up the stairs and into his old bedroom, making sure not to wake anyone up. He didn't want to deal with them, or give them an explanation, but when the time came, he would have no choice.

* * *

"I'm pregnant."

His eyes nearly bulged out of the sockets at hearing those words.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "You can't be."

"I am!" She exclaimed as she wiped a tear off her face.

"How could this happen?"

"We had sex you moron. How do you think it happened?!" She yelled.

"Are you sure it's mine?"

She gasps. "How dare you! No, I, unlike you, do not cheat on my spouse or sleep around!"

"Well, I was just checking…"

"The more legitimate question would be to ask me if I was sure that it was mine!" She tells him. "But obviously, it is."

"Lindsay, I'm nineteen years old, I cannot be a father!"

"Well, this wouldn't have happened if you would have used a condom! You must have used 'em all on Rory, huh?" she said bitterly.

He rolled his eyes. "This is not the time. We need to figure out what we're going to do."

"What do you mean, 'figure it out'? There are not many choices, Dean. I am not going to have an abortion…"

He cut her off, "But you haven't even thought about it!" he protested.

"Yes I have! I am not going to kill something that could be a human being. I will not be a murderer."

"It's not murder! Tons of people do it! It's perfectly legal!"

"No, dammit, I am having this kid," She told him.

He sighed.

"The only thing to talk about is whether you're going to be responsible and help me raise it or not."

He rubbed a hand over his face. "I… can you give me a second to think about it?" he requested and she agreed to allow him to do so. He didn't want to be a father, it ruined everything, but on the other hand, it was his job to help raise it…he would have a guilty conscience if he didn't. Plus, his parents would not approve.

He exhaled deeply. "I'll be there in five minutes; I just have to grab my bag."

She frowned. "You mean you're coming home for good?" She asked.

He nodded. "Yes. It's the only thing I can do. We have to stay together, no matter how hard it is, and raise this kid."

"But what are you going to tell Rory?"

"I…don't know. It's not important now… I'll tell her tomorrow," Dean told her. It was a lie. He knew that he couldn't tell her in person. It would be…embarrassing, among other things. He had no idea what to do.

As he drove home, he thought about what he could do; telling her nothing and just acting like nothing had happened was near the top of the list.

* * *

I'm missing your bed

I never sleep

Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.

* * *

A/N: Reviews are appreciated. :D


	3. Chapter 3

Screaming Infidelities 

Disclaimer: Not mine. The title is from Dashboard Confessional

Summary: First part in Lindsay's point of view. Second part is...sorta both dean and Lindsay. Third part is Rory and Dean.

A/N: I'm on a roll. Yay. such fun. Here's the 3rd, and final, I think ;) part. Enjoy! :D

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I'm reading your note over again

There's not a word that I comprehend,

Except when you signed it

"I will love you always and forever."

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She lay awake, on top of her bed, only a few days after sleeping with Dean. She couldn't believe it. She slept with Dean; slept with Dean in the very bed that she was lying on top of. She suddenly felt sick, but she couldn't figure out why. She had done nothing wrong. He was her Dean. He was.

"He is my Dean," she whispered into the darkness of her room. "My Dean." She thought that maybe if she said it enough times that it would be true, that she could make herself believe it.

In reality, it was not true. They hadn't discussed what would happen next. They hadn't really discussed anything actually, but she had pushed these thoughts out of her mind.

It had been different then she thought it would be. She had heard that it was supposed to be magical, special, something that you would always remember. It wasn't really all that great though. It was...interesting, but of course she would remember it forever.

She rolled over onto her side and looked at her nightstand. The light of the moon illuminated her bedroom, and something sparkling caught her eye.

It was his ring.

He had left his wedding ring on her nightstand. He had been in such a rush to leave, that he had forgotten all about it and she hadn't even noticed.

She reached over and picked it up, rolled onto her back and held it up above her. It was beautiful. She slowly slid it onto her thumb. It fit almost perfectly and she smiled slightly.

Dean.

She and Dean would get married; she could have a ring like that. They would live happily ever after.

Her first boyfriend, her first kiss, her first love, her first time, and he could be her first husband.

Her mother was wrong. He had not cheated. There had been nothing to cheat on. Lindsay deserved it anyways. She was horrible. She made him work awful jobs all day long and quit school. She had practically forced him to cheat. Rory had nothing to do with it, really.

She had been an innocent bystander. It's not like she had stood on the corner with a sign saying 'Sleep with me!'

Lindsay shouldn't have been so stupid. It was all her fault.

Dean loved Rory. He had always loved Rory, and Rory had always loved him.

Now she could be with her Dean and they could forget about Lindsay; about Jess. They were just things...things that had gotten in the way of life.

She remembered how she had called their house and how Lindsay had answered. It didn't mean anything. Lindsay had been pretending to be all cheerful, when she had really already known about the divorce, that had to have been it. Dean was probably staying with his parents anyways.

Rory shut her eyes and exhaled. Lindsay and Jess deserved each other. They could make each other miserable. That would be fun.

She was curious as to why she hadn't heard from him since that night, and realized that he must have been busy working and getting the divorce finalized and whatnot. She decided that she would call him in the morning.

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The phone rang and rang and rang. There was no answer. Finally the recording came on.

"Uh...Hi Dean...Um...This is Rory. I was wondering what's up. I haven't heard from you, I guess you have your phone off. Uh... Call me when you get this. Bye!"

He must be working at the Inn. She glances at the clock in the kitchen and sees that it's 1 PM. She has nothing to do, she is restless.

Suddenly she remembers the mail. It's Monday. The mail should be there by now.

She walks outside and opens the mail box. Scanning through it quickly she finds a few bills, a letter from Yale, and a plain white envelope with the word 'Rory' in the center.

She frowns as she recognizes the handwriting.

Why would Dean be writing her a letter? Why doesn't he just call?

Perhaps he's worried that Lorelai would be upset, but he has her cell number.

She walks to the porch as she rips open the envelope and sits down on the steps as she unfolds the paper.

Her eyes widen and a thousand emotions pass through her as she finishes reading; hurt, frustration, anger, bitterness, sadness, and the most powerful of them all, the feeling of being used and thrown away.

Her stomach flip flops as a tear rolls down her cheek.

She wants to tear the letter up. To rip it, shred it, and then burn it. But she finds herself re-reading it.

_Dear Rory,_

_I couldn't do it in person, and I really don't know how to do it at all, but you must know, and I'll do it quickly and get it over with._

_Lindsay is pregnant. I just found out a few days ago. We are going to stay together; we couldn't divorce. _

_If there was anything that I could do, I would do it. But there isn't. I can't change it. I just hope you know that I love you and that I want to be with you, but I can't. _

_Dean_

She cannot believe him. How could he say that there is nothing that he can do?! Christopher didn't raise her, and she turned out fine.

She looks down and spots his ring still on her finger and gets a disgusted look on her face.

She stands up slowly and walks in a zombie style to the bridge. Once she reaches it, she stands on the edge and throws the ring into the water. It makes a plopping sound and sinks to the bottom. It momentarily satisfies her, until she remembers what happened; she slept with the bastard.

He had cheated on his wife; committed adultery and she had helped him. The tears flow steadily as she walks back to her house.

She is disappointed to find the letter right where she had left it; she had hoped that it was only a dream. But it was real. She had slept with a married man.

The guilt and anger eats at her stomach, and a bitter taste fills her mouth as she picks up the letter, once again feeling sick.

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Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs

And sit alone and wonder

How you're making out.

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A/N: Review please. this is the last part. :D


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